Category Archives: Rude & Amusing

Deaconettes are almost here. How long until the first Lady Pope?

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We’ve seen it before: Make an ambiguous statement to a prominent journalist, issue an ambiguous motu proprio or write a book with a footnote. Don’t say anything blatantly heterodox. Come dangerously close. Flirt with heterodoxy…but then step back. Create confusion. Leave a loophole open here or there and wait for someone in lower authority to interpret/implement a “version,” “an adaptation” of whatever New Thing you want to institute. It will be novel at first, and you’ll issue some sort of tut-tutting denial, and laughingly brush aside concerns. “No, of course not! It may look like ‘X,’ smell like ‘x” and even walk and talk like ‘X,’ but it’s really not ‘X’ at all! If you think we’re trying to sneak in ‘X’ just because it looks almost exactly like ‘X,’ you’re just being mean-spirited and rigid, not to mention silly! Besides, there are a lot of people out there who really, really want ‘X.’ Their lived experiences are awash in ‘X,’ and ‘X’ is who/what they want to be. We need to accompany them as they journey in their own way with their own lived experiences in such a way that ‘X’ can become a Catholic reality for them.”

In this repeating scenario, ‘X’ can be just about anything. In 2024, one of the most exciting “X’es” is women’s ordination, starting of course with the relatively low-hanging fruit of “lady deacons.” Step one is to come up with a pseudo-deaconette who will look, walk and talk like an ordained deacon, but not actually be one, don’t you see? That’s the first seemingly harmless but absolutely essential step on the road to eventually (after a couple dozen synods, perhaps) having full-on lady priestesses.

The playbook is out there, and it’s pretty easy to read their gameplan.

The question is...how far will it go?

Do we really think that some day there will be honest-to-goodness priestesses in the Catholic Church? They’ll try. They’ll definitely try. Praise God, they will not succeed.

But…just as a disturbing and frivolous little exercise, let’s just imagine (for entertainment purposes only!) how such a bizarre scenario might play out. Such a mental exercise seems like it would do well in a comic book format. So, without further ado, we present to you “The Adventures of Pope Karen.”

Badges???

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Man saying "I have a Catholic website." Second man at table replying "You'll need a badge."

Vatican observers did a double-take when they read Paragraph 146 of the final approved Youth Synod document.  While there’s plenty to be found in the document which will curl the hair of most traditional/orthodox Catholics, Paragraph 146 is a whopper in its own right.  It speaks to the need for creating “certification systems for Catholic websites, to counter the spread of fake news regarding the Church.”

Say what, now?

You mean something like the electro-magnetic web-based Internetty version of a Imprimatur or Nihil Obstat kind of thing for web content?

Sounds like a swell idea…what could possibly go wrong?

It’s one thing for the Church to put her seal of approval on Catholic publications advising readers that they’ll find nothing doctrinally offensive or heretical in a book or some such.  The Church should have been doing more of that…assuming, of course, that it would be the heretical or quasi-heretical stuff that would get the flashing red warning light associated with it.  These days, you’re probably more likely to get clotheslined by a Vatican theologian for actually supporting the Magisterium as it existed prior to this pontificate.

I think most of us can imagine what’s really behind the Synod’s report calling for ‘badges of approval’ for Catholic websites:  they want to suppress dissent.

Well, I don’t know many of my fellow Catholic internet dudes/dudettes who are thrilled with that idea.  It’s not hard to imagine that outfits like Church Militant, LifeSite News, the Lepanto Institute and The Remnant would be early targets of such a “certification process.”

Dear Youth Synod Document writers/ghost-writers/stooges, we have a message for you:

Read more about it here–>  https://www.churchmilitant.com/news/article/vatican-looks-to-censor-lay-catholics

What’s That Stang Thang?

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Cartoon depiction of Vatican

Yeah, today’s Halloween.  It’s a special time of the year (except for the raccoons who come to visit me throughout the year; they show up each night expecting treats, and they’re always wearing masks, so every night of the year is Halloween for them, I guess…)

And apparently, even the folks in the Vatican are into dress-up this October.  During the Youth Synod, Pope Francis was seen walking around looking like he was preparing to play Quidditch.  His staff (called a Papal ferula) looked nothing like a traditional bishop’s crozier, and certainly nothing like the trademark Crucifix which adorned the top of St. John Paul II’s ferula.

Observers can be forgiven if they sensed some sort of Wiccan flavor to the staff he was carrying.  It looked far more like a stang of the type favored by those practiced in the dark arts than it resembled anything Christian.  “Not so!” we were assured by Vatican staff (the administrative sort of staff as opposed to the ceremonial walking stick sort of staff).  The new, avantgarde and oh-so-fashionable staff was a gift from “the youth.”  If you look closely (really, really closely) you can almost–if you squint just right–see what might look like a Y-shaped Crucifix.

Taking a shot or two of the local chianti might aid the identification process.

Not only are we laity having trouble with the funny-looking staff, the Papal staff is having trouble with the staff as well…

 

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