Tag Archives: Raccoons

The Truth Is Out There: The Vatican II – UFO Connection

Yes. Theoretically, you could explain the troubling and bizarre happenings at the Vatican on something as mundane as “The Three M’s:” Modernism, Masons and Marxism…

But there are alternate theories as to why our bishops act as if they’re from another planet.

Special Phenomenon Investigator Hank Igitur takes you on an eerie journey into the possibility that extraterrestrials heavily influenced the Second Vatican Council.*

VIEWER WARNING: THIS VIDEO CONTAINS DISTURBING SCENES OF PARANOMAL LITURGICAL PRACTICES

Stay tuned to CatholicCyber-militia.com for additional episodes of the H-Files. The Truth is out there!

*No, this isn’t the actual opinion of CCM; it’s just a fun video. We actually subscribe to the “Three M’s” as the explanation for how weird (and disturbing) our clerical leadership has become.

Take Up Space! Don’t Cede the Public Square to Those Who Hate Us.

Archbishop Viganò (bless him!) has rather aptly categorized the two “teams” vying for control of our world: The Children of Light and the Children of Darkness.

Team Darkness: On the March

Let’s face it: the latter half of 2020 has been looking pretty sweet for Team Darkness. Western governments are actively engaged in a contest to see who can outdo the other when it comes to suppressing freedom in general (and Christianity in particular) with ever more draconian lockdowns and restrictions on personal liberties. The astounding hubris with which the mainstream media and Big Tech are hailing the fraudulent destruction of the American electoral system must have Team Darkness cheering in the stands as well.

What’s coming next? If Team Darkness has their way, expect more of the same in 2021. Your opinions on social media apps such as YouTube, Facebook and Twitter will continue to be suppressed. We will see drastic reversals in policies which for the last four years have favored (or at least been refreshingly neutral) on Judeo-Christian values such as the sanctity of life. I expect that we’ll see a dedicated effort to suppress Christian opinion (and even thought) in Big Media, Big Tech, and (may God forbid) the Deep State if Team Darkness succeeds in their power grab.

How do we Fight Back?

Prayer is an obvious first response. Continuing to maintain Christian households is essential. We must protect our families and loved ones from the assaults of Team Darkness by holding fast to what we know to be the Truth. But there’s more that we can do. We must, as Dr. Taylor Marshall puts it, “Take up space.”

What does that mean, exactly? In a nutshell, it means don’t let them push you out of the public square! Team Darkness, as the name implies, gets creeped out if too much light is shining around them. The best way to suppress those Christians on Team Light is to push them off the stage, confine them to the 21st Century equivalent of a ghetto. “Yes, let them practice their hateful beliefs (for now), but not in public! You may be against the Great Reset, and you’re free to express your opinions to your fellow like-minded bigots, but NOT in public and ONLY if you adhere to whatever rules we have mandated for you. We’d prefer very much if you NOT have any public manifestations of your faith because it makes others uncomfortable.”

Well, we’re not going to let them push us around like that! Team Darkness, you may think you’re on top right now, but the King of Kings is returning to claim what is rightfully His, and we are going to keep reminding you of that blessed fact by continuing to take up space in the public domain!

Strategies for Taking Up Space

Here are some simple ideas for implementing this strategy. Worshiping in public is at the top of the list. Keep going to Mass, and let ’em know you’re doing so! If there’s a public prayer vigil, Eucharistic procession or Rosary Rally, seriously consider participating. You are witnessing to a world that is, in the words of a beloved preacher from my pre-Catholic days, “Lost and doomed, damned and dying.”

There are additional ways you can take up space. Up until just a few years ago, these public expressions of faith would have seemed almost trivial and without the slightest whiff of in-your-face controversy. Now, in 2020 and beyond, they have the potential for making a much bolder and vitally necessary impact.

This vinyl bumper sticker lets ’em know where you stand, though many on Team Darkness probably won’t have a clue as to the context of this message. The Left is like that...

Bumper Stickers. It’s simple. It can seem cheezy. But it is a very real way to express who you are and what you believe. Most bumper stickers you see while driving are inconsequential. They might be amusing. They are often profane, if not downright obscene. But they can communicate profound truths as well. How many people driving around see stickers proclaiming that the driver is a Catholic? That they are pro-life and pro-family? Stickers which can remind the lukewarm to pray the Rosary? Stickers which remind the reader of Who Christ is, and that He’s returning soon? You can find some great ones at religious stores and on the internet. There are many on-line resources for designing your own custom-made bumper art. Do be aware of a couple of important considerations if you take up this form of automotive evangelization: First, the effectiveness of your message–your Christian witness, if you will–may well be diminished if you drive like a jerk. (“Hey, that Catholic in the Ford just cut me off and flipped me off!” No bueno.) Second, there will be people on the road who will take serious exception to your message. You may well experience unsolicited feedback, which may range from a dirty look, an obscene gesture, and perhaps even some degree of road rage or vandalism if they come upon your car and its associated message in the Walmart parking lot. Getting run off the road because you’ve proclaimed your Christianity is a form of white martyrdom, maybe…don’t blow it by responding poorly.

Statues in your front yard–like these from Design Toscano–proclaim your Faith.

Yard Art. The once ubiquitous garden statue takes on new significance in these apocalyptic times. If you’re going to have yard art, why simply have a statue of some maiden pouring water out of a jug when you can have a sculpture of the Sacred Heart or Blessed Virgin proclaiming your faith to passers by in the neighborhood? The time may be coming where some Leftie Snowflake may find such a public display so disturbing that he/she/it declares it “Hurtful” (a major felony for Team Darkness) and seeks its removal. The battle for the soul of our society will take place on many fronts. Speaking of battles…

Why have a vanilla-ish “Have a Nice Day” garden banner, when you can have something like this?

Hoist Your Colors! Do you have a flagpole or one of those little hangers for “garden banners?” Instead of hoisting the colors of your favorite sports team or one of those meaningless little “Let it Snow!” garden banners, why not put it to better use? We’re in a spiritual war. Why not hoist the battle flag of St. Michael, or the colors flown by the Catholic patriots of the Vendee? Let ’em know you’re Catholic and you’re ready to stand your ground! Many stunning and colorful Catholic-themed flags are available online. Hank Igitur, the Traditional Roamin’ Catholic, has turned his RV into a LAV (Liturgical Assault Vehicle) by flying a “Deus Vult” flag from the Crusades from his rig. Why not do something similar? It’s bold, it’s eye-catching, and it lets people know where you stand. In other words, it takes up space.

Hoist your battle colors. God wills it!

Don’t Give Up the Web! During the War of 1812, Captain Lawrence, mortally wounded as his ship slugged it out with a British man-o-war, famously uttered “Don’t give up the ship! Fight her till she sinks.”  We could do to remember the Captain’s words. Don’t give up your online presence in social media. Keep posting on social media. Let an increasingly hostile world hear the truth. You may get blocked. You may get banned. No matter. Keep firing away. Don’t give up. Fight her till she sinks.

5 Wacky Ways to Prepare for the Amazin’ Amazon Synod!

Hey there, friends! I know you’re just counting the days until the infamous Special Assembly of the Synod of Bishops for the Pan-Amazon kicks off in October. (If you’re not excited, then you simply haven’t been paying attention.)

This will be a game-changer for the Church. If you’re a “Modern Catholic” type, this will be the big break you’ve been waiting for: by approving lady deacons, married clergy, “eco theology,” and generally tapping into native pagan wisdom, we will accomplish many wonderful things:

  • We’ll save the environment, and Mother Gaia will surely thank us for that.
  • We’ll end the oppression of women because lady deacons will open the door for lady priestesses.
  • Having elder married shamans saying Mass will allow them to impart ancient lost earth-wisdom on us. The Church has been off-track from the beginning, don’t you know, and a little mysterious Amazon spirit-healing is just what the (witch)doctor ordered!

Why, I can feel the Earth’s temperature starting to come down to pre-industrial levels just at the very thought of all the great things that will happen.

If, on the other hand, you’re one of those sad and schismatic rigid and hateful traditionalists, you are probably viewing the upcoming synod with trepidation. Do please be ashamed of yourselves for that. (And if you happen to be an American, then double shame on you! The Holy Father does, however consider your criticism a badge of honor.) But at least there are people pretty high up in the Vatican who are not afraid of schism; they’ve told us so.

Here’s a name you should know when it comes to the Amazin’ Amazon Synod: Leonardo Boff. An eco-theologian, Boff, likes to boast that Pope Francis used his material for Laudato Si. We suspect that Boff might have had a hand in the Amazon Synod’s working paper as well.

Now that we’ve gotten the preliminaries out of the way, we can move on to the good stuff:

Crisis Magazine has come up with a dandy list of Five ways YOU can prepare yourself for

Pot and Spoon Guy

You don’t have to be technically crazy to think the Amazon Synod is a good idea…but it certainly helps.

the Amazon Synod. Do please consider going over to their website and read the article in its entirety. For those of you not really ready for another click of the mouse, however, here is part of the article for your consideration:

  1. Think of yourself as Earth. Love yourself as Earth.

Want to be able to say, with the indigenous peoples quoted in the synod’s Instrumentum Laboris, “We are water, air, earth, and life of the environment”?  Just stop thinking of the Earth as an object—and start loving yourself as Earth.

Leonardo Boff

Professor Boff assures us that after the Pan-Amazon Synod, we’ll be free to “be mountain, sea, air, road, tree, animal.” Say! Isn’t that comforting?

“Love leads us to identify ever more with the Earth,” explains Boff.  “We must think ourselves as Earth, feel ourselves as Earth, love ourselves as Earth.  Earth is the great living subject feeling, loving, thinking and through us knowing that it thinks, loves, and feels.”

“Then we can be mountain, sea, air, road, tree, animal,” promises Boff.**

2.  Learn about the “new world order” and the new “universal religion.”

To ensure the salvation of the planet, Boff proposes a bold “new world order” in which Earth is “Gaia” and all beings in nature—mountains, plants, the atmosphere—are citizens of a “sociocosmic democracy.”  He suggests a “central government” to “manage matters having to do with all of humankind”—and a “universal religion” to attend it.

“The new paradigm that is coming to birth—that of connectedness—will be the basis of a universal religion that will only be truly universal if it seeks convergences in religious diversity,” explains Boff.  He says the universal religion’s convergent “supreme value” will be the preservation of planet Earth.

Have you noticed how many times Laudato Si and the Amazon synod’s Instrumentum Laboris denounce forms of “anthropocentrism,” call for a “new paradigm,” and say “everything is connected”?  These themes come straight from Boff—and they’re instigators of that “spiritual revolution.”

So could the ecological principles in Laudato Si and the Amazon synod be paving the way for a “surrender sooner or later” on the prohibition against contraception?

“If we accept as a fact that human presence and activity is harmful to the environment and puts the very survival of the planet at risk…we must sooner or later accept emergency measures to stop human activity, such as contraception,” says one critic of Laudato Si and the Amazon synod.

Boff, for his part, is fiercely critical of the “arrogant” anthropocentrism embodied in Gen. 1:28: “Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.”

“These texts present a clear call to limitless demographic growth and unrestricted dominium terrae,” he warns.

  1. Acknowledge that our species is the “true Satan of the Earth.”

“Our species is a threat to all other species; it is terribly aggressive and is proving to be a geocide, an ecocide, and a true Satan of the Earth,” warns Boff.

The eco-theologian chillingly predicts that “as a result of excess chlorofluorocarbons (CFC) and other polluting ingredients, the Earth-superorganism may be about to devise new adaptations, which will not necessarily be easy on the human species.”

Angry Gaia

It just won’t do to tick off Mother Gaia! Better just do what the Amazon Synod (and the UN) tells you!

“Gaia may eliminate [our species], very painfully, in order to allow the overall balance to remain and so that other species might live and continue the cosmic thrust of evolution,” says Boff.  He wonders whether, after millions of years, new complex beings—“new ‘humans’” with a true devotion to Gaia—may replace our “arrogant” species.

  1. Recognize “the secret truth of religious polytheism” and the “permanent value” in animism.

What will the new universal religion look like?  According to Boff, we need to recover “the aspect of truth in paganism, with its rich pantheon of divinities inhabiting all the spaces in nature.”

“To cure humankind of its polytheism, early Christianity subjected the faithful to a violent and harsh medication. With the existence of the gods denied, many doors of the soul were closed,” Boff laments.

Boff says we also need to recognize the “permanent value” in animism.

“We moderns are also animists to the extent that we…feel part of a living whole in which we are enveloped,” he explains.  “Everything sends us a message; everything speaks or can speak: trees, colors, wind, animals, roads, persons, and household things.”

“Shamanism arises out of this interpretation of reality,” the eco-theologian continues.  Shamans use “gestures, dances, and rites” to put “energies at the disposal of human beings as they seek balance with nature and with themselves.”

“All must awaken within themselves this shamanistic dimension,” Boff says.

Fortunately for Boff, the Instrumentum Laboris valorizes pagan rituals (n. 87), “dialogue with the spirits” (n. 75), connection with “the various spiritual forces” (n. 13), and indigenous “beliefs and rites regarding the actions of spirits, of the many-named divinity acting with and in the territory” (n. 25).  The native peoples idolized by the Instrumentum Laboris “have been liberated from monotheism and have restored animism and polytheism,” as de Mattei puts it.

“Not even witchcraft is sidelined” in the Instrumentum Laboris, others note.

  1. Embrace ecofeminism and fight patriarchy.

It goes without saying that the new paradigm will deploy ecofeminism against all patriarchal oppression.  Boff says ecofeminism’s merit lies in its development of a “new pattern for relating to nature”—“against rationalism, authoritarianism, compartmentalization, and the will to power, which are historic expressions of androcentrism and patriarchalism.”

“[In scripture] even God is presented as Father and absolute Lord.  Female, especially maternal, characteristics of pre-neolithic deities, which tend to be matriarchal, are delegitimized,” laments Boff, who promotes female pronouns for God and women’s ordination in The Maternal Face of God and Ecclesiogenesis.

Hence the Amazon synod’s praise for “faith in the God Father-Mother Creator” (n. 121) and its agenda to approve a female diaconate.

Hence Bishop Athanasius Schneider’s description of a coming “‘Amazonian-Catholic’ sect” which “practices the adoration of nature and which will have a female priesthood.”

Raccoon

This is me, the Catholic Cyber Militiaman, one week after the Amazon Synod, if Prof. Boff’s theological expectations are met. All in all, it’s not a bad look for me. I can work with this…


** If it’s all the same to you, Professor Boff, I’d prefer to remain a human created in the image of God.  If, however, becoming an animal or road or whatever is mandatory after

the Amazon Synod, then please put me down for “raccoon.”  At least that way I’d still have use of my hands, and the mask will conceal my identity.  

 

 

You can find the entire article here:  Five Ways to Prepare for the Amazon Synod

https://www.crisismagazine.com/2019/five-ways-to-prepare-for-the-amazon-synod

It’s definitely worth a read.

Blowgun Blowback on the Amazon Synod

In an earlier video, CCM contributor Hank Igitur offered a startlingly effective solution to the priest shortage in the Amazon Basin.  If the hierarchy adopted his revolutionary idea,** there might not even be a need to have the Amazon Synod in the first place!

Well, as you might imagine, there has been considerable feedback on this radical idea.  In this latest video, Hank recaps some of the more interesting comments he’s received!

**The radical idea:  send missionaries.  I know!  Crazy, right?

 

What’s That Stang Thang?

Cartoon depiction of Vatican

Yeah, today’s Halloween.  It’s a special time of the year (except for the raccoons who come to visit me throughout the year; they show up each night expecting treats, and they’re always wearing masks, so every night of the year is Halloween for them, I guess…)

And apparently, even the folks in the Vatican are into dress-up this October.  During the Youth Synod, Pope Francis was seen walking around looking like he was preparing to play Quidditch.  His staff (called a Papal ferula) looked nothing like a traditional bishop’s crozier, and certainly nothing like the trademark Crucifix which adorned the top of St. John Paul II’s ferula.

Observers can be forgiven if they sensed some sort of Wiccan flavor to the staff he was carrying.  It looked far more like a stang of the type favored by those practiced in the dark arts than it resembled anything Christian.  “Not so!” we were assured by Vatican staff (the administrative sort of staff as opposed to the ceremonial walking stick sort of staff).  The new, avantgarde and oh-so-fashionable staff was a gift from “the youth.”  If you look closely (really, really closely) you can almost–if you squint just right–see what might look like a Y-shaped Crucifix.

Taking a shot or two of the local chianti might aid the identification process.

Not only are we laity having trouble with the funny-looking staff, the Papal staff is having trouble with the staff as well…