Tag Archives: Novies

Some of These Novus Ordo Oddball Masses Deserve Their Own Awards Show!

If you’re paying any attention at all, you’ve seen it all too often. Video clips on Twitter, YouTube or other social media depicting some horrendous set of abuses taking place at a Novus Ordo Mass somewhere around the world. The clown masses, balloon masses, giant puppet masses, stand-up comedy routines, skits, and (of course!) liturgical dance-offs.

It’s hard to keep up with all of these Novus Ordo Oddities. One of the very best chronicles can be found at David L. Gray’s YouTube site. (You definitely need to check it out; just don’t do so immediately after eating). But even with Mr. Gray keeping us informed, how can we possibly determine which of these outstanding examples of Novus Ordo Innovation (all done in the highest traditions of the “spirit of the council”) are truly the best of the best?

Well, we here at Catholic Cyber-Militia have just the answer for you: The Novie Awards!

Filmed before a live studio audience at St. Silly’s parish, the Novie Awards recognizes the ground-breaking efforts of liturgical innovators around the world! Receiving a Novie award in recognition for your achievements in novelty, entertainment, and exciting reinterpretations of doctrine is what this show is all about!

And in this, our inaugural episode, we have a clear-cut winner for the first award!

See our entire series of videos (some of them humorous; some of them just tedious) at the Catholic Cyber-Militia YouTube Channel. If you like what you see, subscribe!

Traditional Catholics: Welcome to your New Parish!

You Traditional Catholics must be reindoctrinated. Your Latin Mass is illegal and divisive, therefore it will be eliminated. As an alternative to sending you forced re-education camps, this kinder/gentler approach allows you to be reindoctrinated in an entertaining online course. You are on the honor system; no certificates are required! Simply contact your Diocesan Office and inform them as you complete each training session.

COURSE TITLE: TRADITIONES CUSTODES 101 (TC-101)

LESSON 1: WELCOME TO YOUR NEW PARISH! LESSON

OVERVIEW: Father Timmy introduces a group of newly orphaned Trads to their new Novus Ordo parish, St. Sillies. This lesson emphasizes the importance of having fun at Mass and opening yourself up to the “Spirit of Vatican II” through the magic of liturgical dance!

Time to get re-educated! Don’t worry, Traditional Catholics. Soon you will learn to LOVE the New Mass. Or else…

Now is NOT the Time for Nastiness

Thunderstorm with lightning striking in and around Vatican.

If you are of a traditional mindset, you are likely to find yourself dismayed and angered by this latest news from Rome. Our Holy Father’s latest motu proprio, Traditionis Custodes, which has placed new restrictions on the Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite, is most certainly a source of consternation and dismay, and, yes…anger.

It should certainly not be a surprise, however. We knew it was coming. All of the sniper fire coming from the Holy See regarding “rigid” Traditional Catholics pretty much telegraphed their hostility towards us.

Nobody is quite sure to react. I’m writing this Friday evening, 16 July, and we’re still waiting for all the dust and debris to settle. The FSSP is taking a cautious wait & see approach in their Statement Regarding Traditionis Custodes.

Caution on our part is called for as well.

Now is not the time for nastiness. If we take to social media ranting and railing against the injustice of it all, and begin trading insult-for-insult with others Catholic netizens who think this latest news is just marvelous, well we simply play into the hands of the Modernists, don’t we? “See? SEE? We told you those toxic Traddies were a hateful bunch. Just look atall the venom they’re spewing on social media!”

We have many Catholic brethren who are fence-sitters when it comes to this controversy. They haven’t been paying attention. They’re content and comfortable with their Novus Ordo parish; they might be aware that some of their friends “prefer” the Latin Mass (in much the same way that somebody might “prefer” a Whopper to a Big Mac), but they really don’t have a clue as to what’s at stake. They will have progressive/Modernist friends (maybe even their pastor) who will tell them that Trads are a schismatic cult. They’re modern day Pharisees, only nastier. If we react with outrage, jabbing our fingers wildly this way and that as we point out the heretics among us, what kind of an impression do you think that will make on your non-Trad friends?

That doesn’t mean we have to sidestep the issue. Certainly not! What I would suggest to you, however, is that we take a calm and rational approach when we explain the situation to our friends. It won’t be easy to do in the 90 seconds you might have at the office water cooler, but if you stop and think it over, I bet that you can come up with a succinct and reasonable explanation regarding the situation at hand. They’re called “elevator speeches,” because you have them more or less preplanned and rehearsed in your mind, allowing you to make your points in the time it takes the elevator car to go from the lobby to the second floor.

Keep your cool. Keep your rationality. Keep your sense of humor. Keep your faith.

#MassOfTheAges